I read a great post at (In)courage this week about accepting gifts and compliments and how difficult this can be. I then found this old post from my wedding week in 2010, and I figured the universe was trying to tell me something about learning to accept help 🙂 This post was originally published in the Harmony Pilates and Physical Therapy newsletter in September of 2010…
As some of you may know, I’m getting married this week. I have had so many emotional highs (and some lows 🙂 over the past six months leading up to this week that I feel it’s been a lesson in life! One of the greatest lessons I’ve been privileged enough to receive is that of asking for, and receiving, help.
I have never been very good at asking for help. I didn’t want to bother anyone with my small favors or problems. I figured they weren’t important, or I could do it faster, or I was just plain too shy. Then about a year ago I was getting excited for another friends’ event and wanted to help. I truly wanted to be a part of it and extend any help I could. I was excited for it and would be disappointed if I couldn’t contribute. It hit me that this is how other people might feel about me! By not accepting help, you limit your loved one’s ability to contribute to your happiness. It’s like refusing a gift. And what a great gift it can be! As my friends can tell you this week, I have now become an expert at asking for help 🙂 A few examples of how this has changed my wedding experience:
1) We are getting married at a friend’s house, which is a HUGE commitment and sacrifice on their part! There have been times I’ve wanted to pull out so as not to impose on them. But through this, we have spent a lot of time together that we wouldn’t have otherwise. We’ve gotten to know them even better, and that is a treasure that will last our lifetimes. This also goes for many of the friends who have helped us out for this big day.
2) I visited my parents in KC in July and bought my wedding dress material there and brought it back. It took an extra suitcase and a day of planning while there, but it was totally worth doing it with them. They helped find the perfect shop and we spent an hour carrying material into the sun to pick just the right color. They were here yesterday when I had my final dress fitting, and we all smiled at the story of finding the material and seeing the dress come together. On that day I’ll walk down the aisle feeling them as an extra special part of me.
3) I have gotten over 8 calls and texts just in the past 24 hours from girlfriends asking what they can do to help. These are all out of the blue, volunteering anything they can to take a load off of me during these last few days. We’ve had friends the past two weeks offer to deliver things, take us to dinner, or just listen while we vent. I can’t tell you how humbling this is. Even if there is nothing that I need, just knowing they are there on a moment’s notice is invaluable.
As I sit here writing this, I have friends and family sewing flower girl purses, power washing decks, washing out mason jars (thank you everyone :), collecting beach chairs, delivering glass hurricanes, preparing exercise classes, baking cupcakes, getting sound systems ready, covering my Pilates classes, and sending love and prayers from miles around.
Is a wedding about love? You bet. It’s not just limited to the two people getting married, though. Brian and I are overwhelmed and humbled by the amazing people around us, and we can not thank you enough. We can only hope to repay the favor the next time around.
Photo credit Marella Photography. Message me for more information.