toddler

My day is broken into five major parts:

Part 1: wake up with hubby and daughter, make breakfast, mommy duties
Part 2: get as much work as possible done during 3 hour baby nap
Part 3: post-nap snack, play, dinner, bath, stories, bedtime routine
Part 4: fall onto couch with husband
Part 5: sleep

Let me tell you what is missing.

Rocking the world. Changing beliefs. Elevating societies.

Making a lot of money.

Getting pedicures, manicures, blowouts, extensions or spray tans.

Having all the answers, all the time.

I love being a strong woman, and I love reading and listening to strong women. I have major admiration for women like Marie Forleo, Glennon Doyle, Gabby Bernstein and Elizabeth Gilbert.

These women are changing the world. They are setting people on fire with their passion and strength. They are creating businesses and products that support their families. They look beautiful and have amazing wardrobes. They are putting their fame and fortune towards phenomenal causes.

While I admire and support and am inspired by them, I also let myself feel shame.

You know why?

Because I think I should be doing that, too.

I WANT to do that. I WANT to have a huge stage to share my message. I want to inspire others and make them stand up and say “Yes, let’s do this!” I want to build schools in third world countries and take girls off the streets and fund orphanages.

But that is not the season of my life right now.

I have a two and a half year old daughter. I have a wonderful husband who is pursuing his dreams. I own two businesses and have a staff of 12 I want more than anything to support. I have friends and family who I love being able to talk to and visit without feeling rushed. I have relationships that need nurturing.

Despite this, I look back at the end of most days and feel I should have done more.

I’m a part of a few Facebook and business groups that are constantly updated with stats on someone’s new product launch or business course or ebook.

My status is “I thought about a business idea and then forgot what it was while cleaning pee off the stairs”.

This is the season of my life. Blurry days, kissing owies, addressing customer service issues, being the occasional single parent while my husband works on his dreams, braiding hair, making school lunches, phone calls with friends and limited coffee.

When I find myself thinking I should be or do more, there are two strategies that help me find the gifts in the present:

1) Accept and embrace the season you are in.
You might be in a season of change, or of waiting, or passing middle age, or finding a job, losing weight, caring for a loved one, not having free time or changing relationships. Understand it is a season, and it will pass. There is something to learn from it that will only make you stronger and more unique. You are in the middle of your story. Don’t miss a chapter just because you were looking ahead towards the ending.

2) Own the choices you make within that time.
I wouldn’t trade my days for anything. There is nothing that could pull me away from my job as a mom and the chance I have to stay home with our daughter. If someone walked up to me today and said, “You can be the next Marie Forleo. Here is the plan and we get to start tonight! But you have to travel and work 12 hour days and sometimes on the weekends, so you’ll miss your daughter’s Halloween parade on Friday”, I would walk away without a second thought. I’ve chosen the life I have and I love it. I want to stay home and allow my husband to pursue his passions. I want to make my daughter’s food. I want to spend time working out every day. Instead of comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate, I shift my thoughts to those of gratitude for my ability to chose my own path and the other person doing the same. The world needs us both.

In the midst of a typical day this week I taped a quick video for you talking about the current season of my life. Maybe you can relate! I’d love to hear from you and know what season you are currently in. Wherever you are, you are meant to be there in this moment. There is something to learn and something for you to give the world, even if it involves cleaning pee off the stairs (I do hope you don’t have to do that, though).

Lots of love to you!

4 thoughts on “How I Stop Comparing

  1. Love this blog post. It is something that is hard to do…being in the moment…loving what you are doing NOW…not comparing oneself to others. Getting older makes it even harder….cuz…I can’t be a prima ballerina anymore, and I won’t win the Nobel Peace Prize, and I’m never going to have an incredibly full head of hair (maybe a wig??) and I won’t win any marathons, and and and and…..but, (especially since my brother’s terminal cancer diagnosis) I am trying to embrace my current health, my five grandchildren, my wonderful days at pilates with Yasha, our decision to move to the Portland area and leave Hawaii behind and so much more. Life is a journey, for certain….just have to learn daily how to keep on track of that journey. miss you Jessica….margit

    1. Margit – I still think you might win the Nobel Peace Prize 🙂 I’m so glad you are embracing so much and you have a life many of us strive for! I know I do. Lots of love and I miss you too…

  2. I love this so much! Thanks! I’m struggling with conceiving baby number two as well and feel it’s hard to see others get pregnant so easily. Take care!

  3. I LOVE this! Such honesty & a good perspective that I can take to heart too! This IS making a difference!

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